Awakening ; seeing and merging

Gihani Amarasuriya
5 min readJun 1, 2022

The egoic mind has worked at burying our authentic selves for years as it did its job of protecting us. But we are here in this Earth school for our souls to expand and grow. By opening up and living from the heart and not the mind, we align ourselves with Spirit. We put ourselves into the magic of flow and synchronistic moments begin to occur regularly

All our lives, the soul has been speaking to us so we can accomplish the mission we were born to do. If we don’t awaken, who will accomplish that which we were created to do? We need to wake up and take hold of our dreams.

Us becoming who we’re meant to be isn’t about being more of anything but ourselves. This awakening is not something we can compare with another, as our journey differs from anyone else’s. No one else can be a more authentic version of us than we can. And no one can take this journey for us. This adventure we must take by ourselves.

Our authentic selves are already within us. Spiritual growth is about uncovering who we authentically are. Who we are has been buried by layers of protection by the ego. We all come to a place when we realize tha the egoic mind is more of a hindrance than actual protection. And if we keep allowing it to be in control, we will lose ourselves to the unfulfilled life the egoic mind creates.

As we reach this realization, this need for something more meaningful, we also see that no one can help us but ourselves. No one knows what hides in the marble that surrounds our authentic selves. We must be the ones to strip away the layers to show ourselves and the world the greatness that lies beneath what the ego has buried.

For many, the realization that we don’t know who we are is disturbing. If we don’t know, it’s because we’ve allowed the egoic mind to rule our lives. The ego has created mental pictures of who we are: child, parent, spouse, employee, co-worker, artist, etc. These are the labels we wear, not who we are. To see who we are, we must get quiet. Only in absolute silence, we discover our soul’s voice. As we listen intently, we begin to learn who our authentic self is.

Part of our journey is to look back at ourselves when we were small children. When we knew who we are. The authentic part of us still sees wonders all around, like we did when we were kids. It wants to explore, create, and live this moment in its entirety. Our real selves love unconditionally and are fearless because it knows we’re connected to Spirit.

As we assimilate into our families, we begin to forget who we are. This egoic process is called domestication. We learn what behavior they desire through reward and what actions are unacceptable through rejection. Thus, the egoic mind buries our authentic selves that others deem undesirable. And this starts the forgetting process.

But our souls remember. The heart knows we’re pretending to be something we aren’t. And this is how our self-worth begins its downward spiral. When we can’t be our authentic selves, we become depressed and incomplete.

What the ego has been seeking out there in the world, it will never find. The love and acceptance it looks for must be found within, where it’s always been. The ego fears rejection, but the heart is always accepting. For us to accept ourselves, we have to stop being something we aren’t and allow our authentic selves to emerge.

Stop judging ourselves. Accept who we are, as we are, right now. Release the shame, the guilt, the blame, the excuses, the expectations, and the perfectionism. Instead, forgive ourselves. By letting go and allowing ourselves to forgive our sleepful state, we become conscious of the soul’s voice and its encouragement.

Through our solitude, we create the space for our authentic selves to emerge. To realize the amount of domestication we have assimilated, we have to spend time alone. To see the world as it is and not from an egoic perspective, we need to get quiet.

We need to recognize that we will stumble and take missteps along our route. There will be potholes to navigate around and rugged terrain that we must traverse. So, we need to be gentle with ourselves and not get discouraged. The expedition to self-mastery is one that takes time and self care as we look within and uncover who we authentically are.

Because of our domestication, the ego traps our authentic selves inside the marble for our protection. So, our soul has been trying to get our attention to help us overcome the trap of the egoic mind. The ego doesn’t know how to process these emotions the heart uses to get us to notice it.

So, when the soul says this isn’t the path we are to take, the ego interprets it as a failure. As the heart says, this doesn’t feel right, the egoic mind thinks there’s something wrong with us, and by extension, we are broken. If things aren’t working for us, then we’re not good enough for good things to be a part of our life. And we allow the egoic mind to beat us down so we cannot see the signs of our spiritual awakening.

The ego’s struggle to compete, be perfect, outdo others and ourselves is a futile endeavor because it’s always reacting from a place of fear. That’s its nature. The false belief that all it needs and wants come from outside ourselves causes it to feel broken. It is in this uncomfortable place that growth can occur, and we can find our true selves.

The more we fight against the egoic mind, the more fragmented we feel. The minute we stop struggling and become a witness to the egoic reactions is the minute we start our awakening.

We are hardwired to avoid pain — but it is feeling the pain that brings us the cure.

Awakenings aren’t “stepping into the light,” they are finally facing the darkness. Our demons are just disassociated parts of ourselves we haven’t yet learned to love — so the process of awakening isn’t so much finding our inner peace, but finding all that is haunting us.

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